


The Way I Tend To Be

by theglitterati



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-03
Updated: 2016-03-03
Packaged: 2018-05-24 11:53:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6152856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theglitterati/pseuds/theglitterati
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Enjolras helps Grantaire through a bad day (or, in which Enjolras is actually capable of being a pretty great boyfriend).</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Way I Tend To Be

**Author's Note:**

> TW for depression (It's pretty mild, but just in case).

_"Love is about all the changes you make and not just three small words." - Frank Turner, "The Way I Tend To Be"_

 

Grantaire woke up as the sun was setting.

The room was bathed in red, which, while usually a pleasant sight, was disconcerting to someone who had slept all day. Grantaire looked at the alarm clock. 4:53 p.m. Much too late after a night when he hadn’t been drinking and had gone to sleep before midnight.

Grantaire knew that, given how long he had slept, and given that his boyfriend was due at his apartment very soon, he should probably have gotten out of bed right away. Instead, he just rolled over, so that he was facing away from the window, and went back to sleep.

An indeterminate amount of time later, he woke to the sound of a key fitting into the lock of the apartment door.

“Grantaire?” Enjolras called, over the sound of the door closing behind him. Grantaire squeezed his eyes shut again and pretended to be asleep.

“Grantaire.” Enjolras was in the room this time. Grantaire felt the bed sink as Enjolras sat down on the end of it.

“Are you awake?” Enjolras asked.

“No.”

Grantaire could practically hear the eye roll. “Have you gotten out of bed at all today?”

“Does it look like I did?” Grantaire said. He pressed his face down into the pillow.

He knew now was probably the time to apologize. He had known full well that Enjolras was coming over after class. They were supposed to go to the craft store downtown and get a birthday present for Cosette, whose party was on Saturday, and then go out for dinner. And yet here he was, still unshowered and undressed.

A few dozen bitter feelings pressed their way up through his chest, embarrassment, guilt, and shame among them, as he tried to come up with something appropriate to say. But before he could speak, Enjolras interrupted him.

“Are you hungry at all?”

Grantaire opened his eyes. “Not really.”

Enjolras studied him. “You haven’t eaten all day.”

“Well, I’m just not really hungry.”

Grantaire was expected some sort of argument, or rebuke, but Enjolras just nodded. “Do you want to stay in bed for a bit?” he asked.

“No, it’s fine, I’ll get up, I—”

Enjolras shook his head. “No, I swear I’m not trying to be like passive-aggressive or anything. I’m seriously asking: do you just want to stay in bed for a while longer?”

“I— well, yeah,” Grantaire said. He was still wondering what the catch was. Enjolras seemed far too chipper for the conversation they were having.

But all Enjolras said was, “Alright.” He leaned over and kissed Grantaire on the forehead. Grantaire shied away from the touch, well aware that he probably looked a mess from being in bed for so long. “I’ll come wake you up in an hour, okay?”

Grantaire was weirded out by this whole scenario, but he’d be lying if he said he was up to getting out of bed at the moment. “Okay.” He fell back asleep within minutes.

A kiss on the cheek was what woke Grantaire the third time. Enjolras was lying beside him on the bed, over the covers.

“Hi,” Enjolras said, a smile playing on his lips.

“Hi,” Grantaire replied. He felt slightly more alive that he had earlier. “I’m sorry we didn’t get to go to the store today,” he mumbled.

Enjolras just laughed. “I don’t care, R, we can just go tomorrow afternoon, or I’ll go before class in the morning if you want.” He reached forward to brush a stray lock of hair out of Grantaire’s face. “I did your dishes,” he added quietly.

“What?”

“And I dusted, and cleaned the bathroom, and swept the floor. I’m shocked I didn’t wake you up; I was pretty loud.”

“Enj,” Grantaire sighed, but Enjolras had clearly prepared for dissent.

“Please don’t argue with me about it,” he said shortly, sounding more like himself. “Remember what we talked about? I’m just trying to help.”

“I know,” Grantaire grumbled, after a moment of silence. “I still feel bad, though.”

“Could you feel bad and eat food at the same time, if I ordered some?”

“You’ve already done enough,” Grantaire protested.

“No, I haven’t!” Enjolras said, laughing. “What do you want? Italian? Thai?”

It was a smart tactic, Grantaire thought. Not asking him whether or not he wanted food – the answer to which would always be no, just out of stubbornness – but instead only offering him options.

“Italian,” Grantaire said at last. “Meatball sub.”

Enjolras grinned. “I’ll go order.” He practically skipped from the room.

In spite of himself, Grantaire called out: “I hate to see you go, but I love to watch you leave.”

Enjolras turned. “Hey, look at that, you made a sarcastic comment! You must be feeling better already.”

Five minutes of keyboard clicking from the other room – god forbid Enjolras actually pick up the phone and speak to another human being – later, Enjolras came back into the bedroom.

“Do you want to eat the food in here, or in the living room?”

“Definitely not in here,” Grantaire said. The rest of the apartment had just been cleaned, and this room certainly hadn’t.

This seemed to please Enjolras. “If you want motivation to shower,” he said with a badly-executed wink, “I could come in with you.”

“Enj, you know I can’t—”

“I know, I know!” Enjolras said, waving his arms wildly. “That’s not what I meant. I just meant for fun.”

Grantaire shook his head. “Nah, someone has to answer the door when the food gets here.” Then, because Enjolras looked like he was going to start talking again, he grabbed the cleanest clothes he could find and ran for the bathroom before he could say anything.

The shower did make him feel much better. Even though he was still down, and still felt guilty about ditching his plans with Enjolras, and was still worried about what this day was going to do to his already disastrous sleep schedule, at least he felt clean and refreshed. He stayed under the hot water until he heard the door buzzer go off. Then he stepped out, dressed in new clothes – sweats, he wasn’t Superman – and went out into the living room to find Enjolras setting up their dinner on the table.

“You look nice,” Enjolras said.

“I don’t.”

Enjolras huffed. “It’s my opinion, R. Everyone is entitled to one. Anyways, come eat before the food gets cold.”

Grantaire obeyed. The more food he ate, the more he wanted. He ended up eating his entire sandwich and half of Enjolras’s pasta as well.

“Thought you weren’t hungry,” Enjolras said pointedly.

“I didn’t think I was,” Grantaire replied honestly. He got up and took their plates to the kitchen.

Grantaire didn’t think he had ever seen the kitchen so spotless, even on the day that he’d moved into the apartment. It looked like something out of a Mr. Clean commercial, the cracked countertop and shitty appliances literally sparkling.

Sometimes, Grantaire couldn’t believe how lucky he was.

“Thank you for the food,” he said when he returned to the room, finding Enjolras waiting expectantly for him on the couch. “And for everything.” He sat down next to his boyfriend and hugged him tightly, not letting go for a very long time.

“You’re welcome,” Enjolras said, his reply muffled in Grantaire’s hoodie. Grantaire released him. “Are you feeling any better?”

“Honestly, I still feel kind of crappy,” Grantaire said. “But it’s still so much better with you here.”

“Would it make you feel worse or better if we just went to bed now?” Enjolras asked. “I mean, no offence, but the day is pretty much lost at this point.”

Grantaire laughed. “No offence taken. It might be nice just to relax, though I’m not sure you want to get in my bed after I slept in it for eighteen hours.”

“I already changed the sheets while you were in the shower,” Enjolras said. “And picked up your clothes from the floor. Sorry if that’s too invasive, but it would have bugged me to clean the whole place and only leave one room messy.”

“Of course it would,” Grantaire said, grabbing Enjolras by the hand and leading him into the bedroom.

It was barely eight p.m., but the two of them wasted no time settling in like it was after midnight. Enjolras put Netflix on the TV, then laid back against Grantaire’s chest.

About an hour in, Enjolras turned around and faced Grantaire very seriously.

“I know I said this before,” he said, “but you’re in a better mood now and I think you might be more willing to believe me.”

“You and I have been together for a while now. And when you love someone, you’re supposed to do things to make them happy, even if those things aren’t the most exciting. Though, you know, I actually do really like to clean, but, I mean, that’s not–” He flustered, looking for the right words. “My point is: I like doing whatever I can to help you when you’re having a bad day. So please don’t feel bad or guilty about relying on me sometimes. That’s what I’m here for. You help me with my problems more than you could even imagine, and I want to do the same for you. I love you and I want you to be happy. You are worth the effort.”

Grantaire swallowed loudly before answering.

“You’re amazing, you know that?” he said, his voice thick. “I don’t think you ever get enough credit for just how wonderful you can be.”

Enjolras smiled, and pulled Grantaire in for a hug.

“You’re amazing, too,” he whispered into Grantaire’s ear.

And even in his awful state of mind, Grantaire believed him.


End file.
